Daily cold showers and other peculiarities.

Last year I was determined to start strong. I would crush 2018. So, I did what any self-respecting master of change would do and bought a couple of books by Tim Ferriss.

Before long I was drinking freshly squeezed lemon juice, meditating, doing yoga, getting up at what felt like the middle of the night to journal, taking cold showers, writing daily haikus, doing seven-minute workouts, and fasting every few weeks.

Reading a book by Tim Ferriss is like opening Pandora’s box. Only this time Pandora’s box is full of the opinions of rich white men designed to make you feel inadequate and question your existence. Naturally, I was hooked. I started to read about all the other things successful people did during their day. And incorporating them into my day. On top of all the stuff that Tim had told me to do. That meant eating a lot of legumes, not eating cakes, getting up at 4.30 am to work out, reading Seneca, evaluating my day a la Benjamin Franklin, writing down gratitudes, making my bed as soon as I got up (often with my wife still in it), only taking calls while walking, drinking lots and lots of water and pretending to be happy when I felt sad.

2018 was one of the worst years I’ve had.

Notwithstanding the death of my father from a long battle with cancer and the sudden passing of my father-in-law from a heart attack, 2018 was just a… bummer. My consulting business was patchy, I felt like a failure and I’d got myself addicted to a list of bizarre behaviors that I thought would help me be a better person. Most of them made me feel worse, more inadequate, less clever, kinda worthless.

So, in 2019 I’ve stopped most of that nonsense. And I feel better. Clearer. I’m not worried about the next ritual I have to do so that I can be more stoic and by extension happy. I’m refusing to be drawn into the weird privileged martyrdom of self-improvement. I still want to learn new stuff and be open to all the magnificence the world has to offer, but those legumes can just do one.

PS. I still make the bed with my wife in it and I like cold showers. Weird I know, but they make me feel good. And that’s what I’m making important this year.