Signs

‘You always see the negative, Sean!’ Amy said.

‘I’m just a realist. I can see the signs. They’re threatening me with a written warning, then I’ll get the written warning, then they’ll be a HR meeting, then a PIP, then I’ll be fired. Can’t you see?!’ Sean said.

‘You’re creating your own reality’

‘Oh for fucks sake…you’ve been saying that shit since we started dating’

‘Yeah - I thought it was cute then. Oh Sean - he’s so funny and self deprecating…a decade later, mortgage, a baby…still the same shit and it’s not funny now. Hasn’t been for a while, Sean.’

‘So, Sean…me and mummy have been talking and we think it’s time for you to walk to school on your own.’ Jim, Sean’s dad, said.

‘OK…does that mean I can walk with Mike?’ Sean said.

‘Totally. You’ll both walk together. It’ll be fun. What do you think?

‘Yeah! I want to do it. I’ll be safe I promise. I won’t run and we’ll look out for cars…’

Ok. I know you will buddy. We’ll try it next week, ok?’

OK! Thanks, dad.’

‘Hey, are you going to bed? Jim said to Molly.

‘Yeah. It’s been a long day. Sean’s soccer practice is a whole thing and I have to make small talk with Sarah. It’s…exhausting’ Molly said.

‘Yeah she’s a bit cray…’

‘A bit?! She said Mike ate a bug yesterday. Not a little one. A big one - like a beetle thing. Killed it in the back yard. Brought it in a match box to the dinner table. Put it on his chicken drum stick, with some tomato ketchup, because you would, right? Then he fucking ate it.’

‘That’s pretty dark.’

Yeah, and she said he’s just exploring his boundaries.’

‘He’s a good kid.’

‘He’s wild, Jim. I don’t think Sean should be around him.’

‘Come on Mol. He’s just a kid. I bet Sean gets up to stuff too.’

‘Jim. Please.’

Well, look…’

‘What?’

‘I’ve arranged for Sean to walk to school with Mike next week. It’s about time…’

‘Oh no. No, no, no, no, no.

‘Mol - it’s half a mile away on a quiet street. All the kids in the neighborhood are doing the same thing. He’s got to grow up.’

‘He’s nine, Jim.’

‘Yeah - and Mike is eight. They’ll be fine.’

‘Have you not listened to a word I said? Mike is feral. His mother is insane. He doesn’t have a father figure. Them walking to school will be a disaster.’

‘Seriously, Molly. They only have to cross one road and it’s two doors down from us. What could possibly go wrong?

‘They’ll leave the house, start to play catch-the-fucking-bug, they won’t look where they’re going and then they’ll run across the road and Sean will get hit by a car.’

‘Christ, Molly! Sean’s next door. He can hear you, you know. 

‘I’m sorry, Amy. I don’t know what happens. I think about something and then it just starts to get fast and big and scary and out of control. Before I know it my thoughts combust. Just, I dunno, flame up and scorch what I’m trying to work through. It’s like a curse. I see all the bad things that can happen in the blink of an eye. A million splintered versions of hell’ Sean said.

‘There’s someone at the door…?’ Said Jim.

‘I’ll get it….Mike?!. Where’s Sean?!’ Said Molly

‘He…we were running..He’s ok…’ Said Mike

‘Sean! Jim! Jim! Jim! It’s Sean!’

‘What?! I’m coming…Mike what happened?

‘We were running and we went through the cars and one of them hit Sean’

‘Where is he?’ Jim said.

‘Sean! Sean!’ Molly said

‘He went to sleep for a little bit but he’s awake now.’ Mike said.

‘Sean! Are you ok? Sean?! Jim, call an ambulance. It’s ok baby. It’s ok. Jim - the fucking ambulance!’

‘…yeah he got hit by a car. He’s awake. Yeah keep him awake. Molly - awake! No, no blood…OK please hurry.’

‘I told you, Jim! I saw the signs!’